By ChalkCode & Coffee: survival in Further Education
It’s March, which in the Further Education world means one thing: recruitment ramp-up season. Cue the dramatic music. Colleges across the land dust off their “state-of-the-art facilities” banners, polish their “excellent staff” slogans, and rehearse their best “outstanding student experience” elevator pitches.
Why? Because we’re all in the same rat race—scrambling for the ever-dwindling pool of 16–18-year-olds who, let’s be honest, bring in the real revenue.
Colleges are like reality TV contestants—merging, splitting, rebranding. Managers and teachers get recycled more often than my takeaway coffee cups. We all share one unspoken goal: survive the year by enrolling enough students to keep the lights on and the Wi-Fi working.
But demographics aren’t on our side. Families are moving out of pricey cities in search of trees, peace, and cheaper rent. So, to combat the great exodus, we throw everything at the wall—open days, open evenings, interview weeks, taster sessions. All with the same battle cry: Please come to our college, we have science labs and actual pizza!
This year, in a dazzling display of overcommitment, we launched an extra taster session outside the usual schedule. Of course, it’s strictly for volunteers. And by volunteers, I mean managers “volunteering” because senior leadership expects it—and if we’re lucky, we can trade it in for some precious TOIL (time off in lieu, not the other kind of toil, though both apply).
So, I did what any committed (read: coerced) middle manager would do. I roped in my trusty science techs, cobbled together a science showcase in a single lab, designed a slightly-too-enthusiastic poster, and papered the college corridors like it was 1999. I even bribed—I mean, recruited—seven of my own Physics students to be Science Ambassadors. They only agreed once I confirmed they’d get extra-curricular hours. Double hours, if necessary. Everything’s negotiable in FE.
Now, here’s the kicker: two of my shyest students signed up to help. I nearly fell off my lab stool. A rare and beautiful moment.
Meeting time with senior management. Aaaand—they forgot. Brilliant. Luckily, our legendary admin hadn’t. She sent invites. She always sends invites. There was a moment of panic as senior staff whispered among themselves about who would do what. Feedback forms? Talks? Refreshments? I asked about food for the volunteers. Blank stares. “You have volunteers?” Um, yes. You thought I was doing this solo? A polite panic ensued, until Admin Queen rescued us again—pizza was promptly ordered. I breathed a sigh of greasy relief.
Timings? “Same as last year,” said Big Boss confidently. Cue confused looks from other managers: “We weren’t here last year.” It’s giving committee energy.
On the day, we split into our subject areas and marched off to collect our fresh-faced hopefuls from the library. Of the five managers meant to lead groups, only two showed up. Classic. I collected 24 curious teens, ushered them into our buzzing science lab, and let the magic unfold.
They were introduced to my student team, asked to jot down why they want to study A-level science, then launched into three hands-on experiments.
Our DIY prospectus (crafted lovingly from my blood, sweat, and Canva) was handed out. It was buzzing—nervous at first, then gradually warming up. Shy students were chatting, hands-on with equipment that looked like it came straight out of a Bond film. One even said, “Miss, I’ve got this,” when I tried to help. I pretended I wasn’t crying.
These are the moments we live for. Not results day. Not Ofsted. This. Confidence. Growth. Students taking the lead, explaining science to their peers like total pros.
I floated around like a proud peacock, completely unnecessary. Just how I like it.
Then came the Kahoot. Our brand-new Pro licence meant tower-building challenge mode was unlocked. They were hooked. Refused to leave. Glorious chaos.
Round two? Smaller group. Same vibe. More chaos. Abdi got tangled in a slinky. Clara soaked her sleeves showing diffraction. John ran out of distilled water. Steve might have broken… something in biology. No idea what it was. Tiara’s tablet lost sensor connection, but she fixed it like a legend.
Group three was full of chatter and questions. Another Kahoot—this time with monsters and submarines. Why not? Science is supposed to be fun, isn’t it?
By the end, we were all exhausted—but oh, so proud. I marched my student army back to the library, handed them over for feedback and final goodbyes. My feet hurt. My voice was gone. But my heart? Full.
Because this is what we do in FE. We graft, we improvise, we smile through the chaos—and sometimes, we even get pizza.
SurvivingFE 
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